Where science, society, and politics meet: Neanderthals

As more and more evidence accumulates for an African origin of humanity, a new social movement has arisen which worries many social observers in Europe. Several tribes of Neanderthals, dubbing themselves 'Nativists', have begun pushing for the removal of all humans from Europe. Urgso, the leader of a tribe in northern France has released a three hundred stone slab manifesto which details injustices and grievances and has become a symbol of Neanderthal discontent with African presence in Europe.

At a press conference earlier today, Urgso refused to speak English or French, instead using what he called "the spirit-given speech" of waving his hands in circles while hooting, which he praises as the "poetry of the dirt and rock". Rather than taking questions, he gave a two hour speech in which he encouraged "all them light-skinned hairless moneys to go back to Africa where they came from" and encouraged supporters to vote for candidates who would legislate in favor of his agenda, which he says is founded on the foundation of "rock, eyebrows, and ship them back!"

The movement has met with fierce opposition from all sides. Far left groups have claimed it is going to cause a "second round of imperialism". Far right groups have protested against "living side by side with sub-human beasts. No not the Neanderthals, they're the ones kicking us out. I mean the ones we're usually angry about." Members of the African political elite have also sided with the socialists and racists. Members of the ape political elite have also sided with the socialists, racists, and corrupt dictators saying "eek".

Only the future can tell what will happen, but the Neanderthal political awakening is sure to have a dramatic effect on the outcome of upcoming parliamentary elections.