We're %&$^ing idiots

| Tuesday, March 2, 2010
How many times have we run around to get rewards and ended up completely screwing something up by working for a disguised enemy?

This might have spoilers, so read with caution if you're not a Loremaster and have already seen it all.

Searing Gorge
We help a black dragon in their war against the Dark Iron dwarves. At least it's enemy vs. enemy, so this may be the least harmful.

Twilight's Hammer cultist there, who we help, to learn more about the Old Gods. Nothing good can possibly come from that.

Arthai Highlands
Long and annoying chain, due to crossing over far too many levels, in which you are convinced that you must help free some captured princess giant. Just in time you learn to instead kill her.

Grizzly Hills
Drakuru sends you around to gather important artifacts so he can cleanse Drak'tharon Keep. Which he does. Of the trolls. With your oblivious help he becomes an important part of the Scourge assault on the Ice Trolls. An early and awesome quest chain in Zul'drak pretty much consists of cleaning up the huge mess that you've made.

Storm Peaks
Save the captured goblins! Oh hi, who's this? She sounds nice, wants to help this Thorim guy. Oh, that was just a plot to lure him into the open so his brother can capture him.

Well let's go kill the bad brother then. Well that seems to have started the process for our entire world to be destroyed.

Fire Festival
Surely nothing bad can happen from giving a stick to a cute little fire elemental. Oh so cute so cute so cute! Who's the cutest little fire elemental? Who's the cutest little fire elemental? Oh yes you are!
*toss twig*
Thank you again, Kelpsacovic, for this delectable incense.
< devours the incense. It's ravenous! >
So good! So packed with energy!
It has everything a growing scorchling needs!
I can feel the power SURGING within me!
< bellows with laughter! >
Now! Finally! Our plans can take effect!
< blinks... >
Ah. I was merely jesting...

Well that was close...

What else, what else? Oh yes... that little New Plague to Kill the Scourge and the Living incident.

Tanaris and Sunken Temple
A fun chain that sends us all around the world to hope that we can stop the return of Hakkar, the devourer of souls, a bloodthirsty god who nearly destroyed troll civilizations with his lust for sacrifice. Turns out we summon him, triggering the takeover of the troll priests in Zul'Gurub and yet another heroic effort on our part to save the world from the problem we created.

And so am I
I'd like to apologize for a recent post. It was meant to be a joke, but somehow in my rush to get out the ideas, it turned into some sort of muddled mess. My intention was to have a laugh about how healers seem to always 'lag' if a tank dies. Somehow theorycraft ended up in it, and that's just not right. I feel that I've let down myself and you, the people who had to muddle through that mess about EH and avoidance. I apologize for failing to live up to the standards I set for myself and I will make every effort to avoid anything potentially useful or logical.

Thank you for your patience.


Iiene of Kul Tiras said...

Well, look at the bright side.

None of us would EVER accept a quest to go back in time and help a corrupted arch mage open a portal to invade Azeroth with a horde of Orcs. Thus causing the deaths of untold numbers of Alliance.

Oh... wait... yeah we would.

A GREAT joke quest would be to go back in time and kill the first settlers of Azeroth. Then... when you complete it... you return to a phased Azeroth with nothing in it except the quest giver who says "GOOD JOB! You just wiped out the entire game!"

Shintar said...

Let's not forget the Teron Gorefiend quest in Shadowmoon Valley! I was actually surprised the first time around I did it, but on every subsequent character I just started to feel increasingly embarrassed...

Stabs said...

I always thought the stupid Fellowship carrying the Ring all the way to Mordor just so Gollum could snatch it, depose the Dark Lord and start a Dark Reign of Hobbit Evil would have been a much better plot for Lord of the Rings.

So I guess you could say I'm into this kind of plot device.

Or am I? This could be a trick to lure innocent game developers into putting these plotlines into games just so I can turn around at launch and say Boring Boring Boring Cliche Cliche Cliche....

Mwa ha ha.

Regarding your lag post it was obviously humour it just kinda didn't work. Timing, dude, timing. Watch a Robin Williams film then do another comic blog post as if guest written by him.

Klepsacovic said...

@Iiene of Kul Tiras: Horde pride, without us, Azeroth wouldn't have survived.

@Shintar: I slightly dreaded that quest when I took alts through SMV.

@Stabs: Psh, Gollum had no ambition. He got the ring and just spent his time hiding in a cave eating bad fish.

Anonymous said...

Culling of Stratholme anyone...

Let's use these arcane disrupters on these normal crates of grain to....

Ohhh damn, it wasn't Arthas that started this... It was ME!

Klepsacovic said...

@gnomaggedon: We are dispelling the illusion that they are normal. The grain is plagued, but the infinites are disguising it to prevent Arthas from purging Stratholme and confronting Malganis.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant!! Made me laugh loudly (on the train which was slightly embarrasing). :-)

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