Self-righteous Sunday: This is why we can't have nice things

| Sunday, March 7, 2010
Tanks, please figure your shit out. You're the leaders of the group. It's part of the job. Its not mere arbitrary social standard, it's a game mechanic.

You control where mobs stand. Put them in the right place. Onyxia phase 1 should not be done directly in the middle of the room 45 degrees to the left. Get against the fucking wall and get her straightened out. This applies to all other cleaving, kknocking back, AoEing, or whatever-other-bad-thinging mobs.

You control where DPS stand. They're a lot like NPCs. They do not move unless they start getting out of range errors. But once they're out of range, they tend to move. If there's a pat that you want them to avoid, you'd better drag the current mob until the DPS must move. If not, you're getting adds. Blame the DPS, it's their fault, but c'mon, you're the baby-sitter. Pick them up and put them back in their seat and make them eat dinner instead of playing Outlet Explorer. They tend to lose that game. So let's say you're in PoS and you're pulling the ghosts near the end and trying to avoid that one pat. The shadow priest is still standing way back and will aggro it. Just keep running down the hall until he is out of range and must run to catch up.

Fun fact: Red-haired people are more resistant to electrical shocks than others, but we sunburn more easily too. This might be how my brother survived childhood.

Yes so, know the fight. Everything about it. Know when DPS need to stop and figure out a way to make it happen. Drag the mob all over, BoP the melee, pop DS so they die. All is fair when teaching DPS to stop DPS.

[late addition] The true reason we cannot have nice things is that if I write after midnight I get mixed up by the date change and schedule the post a day too late.


Stabs said...

It's good advice but I miss the Vanilla days of WoW.

Everyone was expected to be switched on, to have situational awareness, to be watching the room not the meter.

Of course a lot of people sucked - but at least if the dps pulled a pat it was their own damn stupid fault, not time to bitch at the tank.

Anonymous said...

A tank is nothing but a punchbag whose only value is the amount of hits it can take before dying, i.e. his gearscore.

Anonymous said...

Tanks not positioning mobs is my major pet peeve at the moment.

I recently dinged 80 on my kitty druid and I am still learning how to play melee (I'm normally a healer).

My main combo-point builder has to be used from behind the target, too much to one side and it will just give error messages.

I am really nervous about being that person that pulls aggro from a pat or a group that is close by, but I have a very small space I can be in and still do damage to the mob and the tank is the one that has to do the positioning, that is not something I can do.

But so often tanks will just run into a group and start tanking them where the group was, rather than pulling them back a few steps to make sure there is room for melee to safely stand behind the mobs without risking aggroing.

Ugh! If I ever do bear tanking I won't make that mistake - I hope. :-)

Anonymous said...

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but it's posts/rants like this that scare new tanks into never tanking.

A raid tank? Yes, definitely, they better have their game face on. But make sure you cut the new 5-man tank some slack and time to learn what the heck you're talking about, or your wait times for a heroic will never get shorter.

New tanks are very timid animals, they need to be coaxed out into the sunshine with some sympathetic DPS and a strong, flexible healer. You'll be glad you did, because seeing a new tank come into their own is a beautiful thing.

It's the new tanks that come charging in thinking they can tank Arthas right out of the gates that scare the living hell out of me. I can't heal stupid. But that's another tale ..

Anonymous said...

"A tank is nothing but a punchbag whose only value is the amount of hits it can take before dying, i.e. his gearscore."

Wow... you should try tanking sometime. Tanking is by far thr toughest job in the game. Some classes can get away with gear score (5500 GS pulling 1.5k in a heroic), some with good basic knowledge of the mechanics of the class (3000 GS pulling 2k in a heroic)... tanks need both, and need to pick up the slack for failDPS that can't watch aggro (I'm looking at your 5500 GS hunters who AOE trash before your 3000 GS Pally new to tanking drops consecrate and bitch cause you pull all the mobs). Take a deep breath... count to 4... then DPS please.

Klepsacovic said...

@Stabs: Vanilla WoW was when I bragged in vent about my skills at controlling feared mobs, and then sent one straight across the room into about 5 more packs.

@Anonymous: First off, that would be effective health, not gearscore. Second, tanks are more than punching bags.

@tufva: On behalf of all tanks, I apologize to anyone who really needs to be behind a mob, because it can be a PITA to get them where they need to be, facing where they need to be, and not moving. Trash likes to move. Bosses are easier, except perhaps flame guy in VoA; he still likes to move randomly.

@Bri: I should do a counter-rant aimed at people who don't give tanks the time they need. I actually don't mind ignorant tanks, since that's where we all start; my real annoyance what you said: the tank who acts like he knows what he's doing and hasn't the slightest clue.

@Anonymous: It might just be the experience vs. lack of experience gap; but I'm finding healing to be harder than tanking. Then again, I've tanked a lot over the past few years but almost never healed.

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