Chaotic Moods

| Tuesday, May 5, 2009
There are good days and bad days. There are the off days and then almost-soloing-the-world days. And then there are the chaotic days. Somehow order and direction are annoying. Any attachments feel restrictive. There's the urge to gquit, not out of rage or any personal resentment but more like "I don't want to do this anymore, I want to just be free."

I feel like that now. I know it's stupid. I wouldn't get anywhere. I can't PUG everything and as sad as it sounds, I get lonely. Sure I get annoyed by idiots in gchat saying dumb stuff about who knows what, but, something about the lack of green scrolling by just makes me feel isolated.

Perhaps it's bad timing. The end of semester is coming and it's crunching my time a lot. Or at least it's crunching my perspective of time. I've not been raiding as much recently. I was on last night for Ulduar and we downed a few bosses. It wasn't much fun. It felt like either waltzing in and chopping down an easy boss or like dying over and over for no progress at all. To be fair, Razorscale is on farm, the council was done the easy way, and my guild had been doing the hands guy for a few days. Still, from my perspective it was a totally unbalanced run, either trivial or impossible.

Gear is another problem. I feel like I've fallen behind on tanking gear, though not too badly. My ret gear though, it's clearly not up to par. This has its roots in Naxx. Since ret was my offspec, I had a hard time getting anything more than completely unwanted scraps. In retrospect we should have started using the dual-spec loot system before they came out rather than afterward. We spent a long time giving marginal upgrades to main specs while future secondary specs were treated the same as offspecs and got screwed. The result is my current ret set which I feel bad using because I feel as if I'm hurting the raid using it.

This is fixable of course. I can do naxx 25 to get pieces I'm missing, but that's going to be a pain. I don't like PUGs much for raids. It's likely that I'd be there tanking, but then what raid is going to give DPS gear to a tank before the DPS? I could demand it as a condition, but I doubt tanks are in such short supply that it would work. Besides, we all know how much demand there is for plate and two-handed DPS loot.

So frustrating.


Stabs said...

Start rationing your WoW time. If you limit yourself to say 10 hours per week you'll actually be itching to get online.

LarĂ­sa said...

It really sounds like you need to do something completely different. Something you don't normally do. Roleplay, change faction, PvP, do silly achievements, something you don't normally do. Or possibly cut down drastically on playing as Stabs suggests. But I can understand the dilemma: if you don't want to fall behind further on gear you can't do that.

The question I guess it boils down to is if you've finally lost the raiding bug or if it's just a temporary thing. Maybe you should even consider switching guild or server to get a fresh start.... Not a quick decision to take of course, not just after one bad night... but you should take this seriously. The game is supposed to be fun - at least most of the time.


Klepsacovic said...

@Stabs: Very conveniently, I'm not going to be able to play as much over the next week. Stupid real life and all its realness.

@Larisa: I already do silly stuff. Perhaps PvP is the solution. I did have fun during the orphan achievements. Maybe some casual BGs in spare time or even giving arenas a try. Thanks for the hug.

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