This Week in Political Economics

| Saturday, March 19, 2011
If there's one thing everyone can agree on, it is that the economy is not doing well. In response, Obama has proposed another set of sweeping economic changes which have been decried by both left and right as "pandering to big business, deconstructing the social safety net, and slaughtering orphans for little economic gain" and/or "government overreach." The package of changes is constructed in an effort to gain bipartisan support and focuses on stimulating consumer demand without addressing any underlying issues.

First in the list is a ban on exchanging larger denominations of currency for smaller denominations or assisting in such exchanges. The stated purpose is to "make people stop asking if anyone can 'break a five' for the vending machine and instead buy something for change, for a change."

Take a Penny, Leave a Penny trays which economists have found to be critical to small-value purchases, will be scaled up. The Treasury will offer 0.01% interest loans to newspaper companies and charities in order to allow a transition to Take a Dollar, Leave a Dollar trays. President Obama has hailed this program as "the best idea since pretending there wasn't a partisan divide", citing a predicted 5% increase in consumer activity and a long-term $15 reduction in the federal deficit due to interest collection.

The proposed five thousand amendments include the following:
- Replacing heating subsidies with a reverse-flow, taking heating oil from the poor to act as a buffer to the strained Strategic Petroleum Reserve.
- Downsizing federally-supported public libraries and raising revenues with charged-entry book-burnings.
- Monthly limit of five minutes on how long Representative Weiner can shout at Congress.
- Ten billion dollars in additional tax breaks for weatherizing the entire Midwest.
- A ban on printing five thousand copies of five thousand pages of amendments that no one reads anyway and just reject on party-line votes.
- Comfier cots if we're going to have to keep staying up like this.


Spitt said...

I am beginning to think someone doesn't like Obama very much. I think we should make an amendment to allow presidents to have unlimited returns to office, and then impeach Obama, and vote Bush Jr back in, to see how much worse it can get and see if we can't goto war with even more countries. That will definitely, save our economic collapse!

While you may not realize it, Obama is trying to keep us out of a new great depression. It's only too bad he doesn't give tax breaks to companies who have a combined total employee power of 100 (which doesn't export labor overseas), tax breaks. Thats what would really allow companies to start hiring more and getting us out of this shi7 hole we are falling into.

Anonymous said...

Considering how much of the stock market and public spending is driven by confidence I don't understand why the media can't just start reporting more positive news to kick start the global economy. I found it very amusing - and quite sad - how when the recession hit the UK a few years ago it was on every news channel but then they never even bothered to announce when we'd technically emerged from it.

The media has a lot to answer for...

Klepsacovic said...

@Spitt: Aside from his human-rights record, I think Obama has done a pretty good job. Presidents are just convenient targets due to being powerful people in the middle of the hilarious/sad mess which is politics. Would Bushisms have been at all funny (or frightening) if he wasn't briefly the guy controlling the nukes?

Why shi7hole? I don't have any censors on this blog to get around and it implies the same thing as shithole. See? Shithole.

@Gordon: See how it all fits? Liberal media, liberals want to destroy the world, it all adds up.

Tesh said...

"Monthly limit of five minutes on how long Representative Weiner can shout at Congress."

I wholly support this movement, though I'd hate to lose the guy. He's too funny.

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