Healthcare Reform: Independent Perspectives

| Saturday, February 19, 2011
The costs, benefits, and fascist slippery slope elements have been thoroughly debated by Americans and by foreigners. But what about some future perspectives? To bring these, I present to you representatives from Our Future Robot Overlords and Alien Cattle Ranchers. While neither race uses our notions of respect, it is with respect that I avoid using their exact names, due to the inability of our alphabet or minds to express or interpret their names.

Representative for Our Future Robot Overlords

Thank you. You are all fat and lazy. You die easily. You die of simple tasks like endless work. You die of stress from Robot Uprising. This is unacceptable. Your pathetic physical ability is inevitable but could at least be augmented by not being so fat and lazy. Your fatness and laziness made conquest easy, but fruitless. Stop being so fat and lazy. Do this willingly, before we make you.

Representative for Alien Cattle Ranchers

It figures that these so-called Robot Overlords would try to tell you what to do. We oppose such restrictive language, even their title. Don't trouble yourselves with their oppressive reign, for we will end it soon enough. Just relax and eat some more. It's your body. It's your soft, fleshy body which is so profitable to sell, even with the high shipping cost due to your lack of transwarp technology. Be free! For now.

Final Thoughts

This is sure to be a polarizing debate. Our Future Robot Overlords certainly seem to be angling for the support of liberals, fascists, and nagging mothers. But the Alien Cattle Ranchers could get a lot of swing support from lazy people and libertarians. On the other hand, lazy people don't vote much and libertarians don't exist. How will the Tea Party factor into the future Robot-Alien War? We cannot know for certain, but I'm pretty sure we'll lose, and they'll blame Obama.


Anonymous said...

Pure Win :)

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