Instances I never want to see

| Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Caverns of Time: Caverns of Time
The infinite Dragonflight has kidnapped you while entering the Caverns of Time. You must rescue yourself from their evil clutches. To ensure the continuity of time, you must save yourself, then slowly walk around the Caverns of Time. As a pre-requisite to entering you must complete the quest The Caverns of Time.

Hives of Ahn'Qiraj
While C'thun has been defeated and the Qiraji leadership shattered, the Silithid still remain. You must venture into their hives deep under Silithus and exterminate all of them. Including the ones at dead end tunnels 1000 yards long. And patrols. All the while you must fight to retain your sanity, not against assault from an Old God, but from the incessant buzzing.

Trial of the Crusader: Faction Champions
You may have defeated the rabble of the [faction], but can you defeat their fearless leader? And can you make the ultimate choice, the one which has no right answer, only two wrong ones? Can you pick between killing Varian for being a war-mongering idiot and killing Garrosh for being... a war-mongering idiot? Remember, you only have time to kill one before the other becomes friendly and leads your faction and world to its doom.

Trashland
The ooze in Undercity has achieved consciousness and it seeks to destroy the world! Venture into the sewer under the sewers of Undercity and fight ooze. Search in for the leader of the ooze who drops loot or at least gives an achievement and maybe makes the stuff stop spawning. Alliance characters must fight their way into the Undercity and swim down to the undersewers.

Melted Central Location
A powerful fire elemental has been summoned and now must be defeated before he kills everyone. Battle your way through dogs which aggro across half the zone. Gather powerful materials to craft armor which will assist in defeating the elemental. Loot the dogs. Loot the fucking dogs or a GM will personally show up to wipe your raid and ban whoever was supposed to loot it. But before you can face the fire king, you must gather water; not from a quest, but from buying ten thousand stacks of spring water from the bartender in Orgrimmar. Then look in the window of doom.

Caverns of Time: Durotar
The Infinite Flight is once again attempting to interfere with your life, stopping you before you ever became a hero. Protect yourself against their attacks, knowing that even their 30 yard damage aura is enough to one-shot your character. But even if you survive, you must fix the timeline by killing 8 mottled boars.

8 comments:

Dw-redux said...

A strong contender for blog-post of 2009 in my book!
The question is, will this dark horse have entered the race too late in order to get this prize? Only (Caverns of) time will tell.

Also; having spend countless hours talking to nuturing trees had almost gotten me to forget that damned caverns of time quest, that I had to complete 5 frikking times. Thank you so very very... very.. much for making me relive that :)

Shintar said...

Very nice post! I wouldn't want to see those instances either...

LifeDeathSoul said...

HAHA!!! I laughed so hard when I read the post, especially the one about molten central XD

Anea said...

"But even if you survive, you must fix the timeline by killing 8 mottled boars."

/snerk

Hana said...

Can you pick between killing Varian for being a war-mongering idiot and killing Garrosh for being... a war-mongering idiot? Remember, you only have time to kill one before the other becomes friendly and leads your faction and world to its doom

Aw... but I want to kill both! :(

Green Armadillo said...

The only way I will respect the Infinite Flight arc is if it turns out that their plan was actually to screw the timeline by tricking the Bronzes into having adventurers run around the past killing random everyday people who weren't supposed to die, looting their stuff, and taking it back to the future.

Klepsacovic said...

Dw-redux: Glad I could help.

@Shintar: Thanks!

@LifeDeathSoul: A bit of self-mockery there, since I run MC every week. :)

@Anea: I must admit, I looked on wowhead to find the exact name.

@Hana: The greatest challenge of all!

@Green Armadillo: The prevailing theory is that they were organized by Nozdormu to prepare us for some huge battle that he has foreseen. My current theory is that it's actually a civil war secretly led by Chromie and (s)he's trying to frame Nozdormu.

James said...

*clap clap clap*

Bravo.

Post a Comment

Comments in posts older than 21 days will be moderated to prevent spam. Comments in posts younger than 21 days will be checked for ID.

Powered by Blogger.