Klepsacovic is not happy now

| Wednesday, May 25, 2011
You know what would be a great job? Try this: fresh air, talking to people, helping them out, getting good money by saving people money. No strings attached to anything. Perfect, right?

Sure. Of course. Assuming you don't utterly fail at sales and quickly learn to hate people.

I got that job. Trained. Learned a script. Learned what was behind the script. I understood this stuff.

But after the second dozen people who aren't interested [in saving money], who don't want to change [nothing beside saving money], and who refuse to even talk. Well fuck them. Fuck. Them. I cannot summon the will to care about our shared humanity. Just fuck them. Assholes and idiots.

Of course I can't quite blame them. Some company had come through with a similar thing earlier, but ended up burning a lot of people. So fuck them too for making everyone paranoid. Hell, I was paranoid. I wasn't willing to do any door to door until I'd determined for myself that there were no catches. There are none. But damn, try to explain that to someone who got fucked over a couple months back.

I guess I'm just not a people person. I like talking with people, socializing, fun stuff. But playing the manipulative game, even though it isn't a scam, just doesn't feel right. Before writing this I was talking with my parents and suddenly realized that I felt insincere just in normal conversation, like I couldn't just talk, I had to be driving a sale.

I wonder how many days it would have been before I started throwing rocks at houses that didn't sign up. Maybe two at most. Two more days I mean. Two rocks would just be lazy.

So long story short, I had a job for two days, only got one sale (really three, but the verification call got fucked up, so they don't count), realized I was terrible and it and hated it, so I quit.

This is doing wonders for my self-esteem and mood.

My first day I briefly tried to relate it to gaming. I thought back to pickpocketing for Insane in the Membrane, for the books that never dropped, for all the impossible materials. But then I realized, that achievement was saner than this job. When I loot something, I have a certain percent chance of that mob having it, and that is constant. But people don't work quite the same way. If one in ten people sign up, it's not as if each person is a ten percent chance. They're all unrelated, not using a quantifiable drop table. In other words, an MMO grind lets me take advantage of large counts and probabilities. People aren't so logical.

Even worse, killing a mob is killing a mob. Technique only matters in terms of efficiency. People aren't so straightforward. The slightest hesitation and they shut the door in your face. The slightest bit of paranoia and all the time is wasted.

I guess I'm stretching it a bit. Oh well. I tried.

So, anyone have any job openings they need filled?


Caramael said...

Door-to-door sales is way too intrusive. Unfortunately I'm not allowed to wave around a shotgun and scream get off my property in the country I live in. The guy next door just gives them his you've-got-3-seconds-to-leave-or-I'll-break-your-neck-face, which is a great alternative, except my face is unable to do that.

Michael said...

For what it's worth, almost all the time someone doesn't take you up on whatever you're selling, it's not your fault for failing to properly sell it. For most of those people, you simply never had a chance in the first place.

I personally am very resistant to buying anything someone offers me instead of things actively sought out. All too often it turns out to be something you don't need, and even for things you might want, the salesperson approaching you forces a sense of immediacy that doesn't allow for proper deliberation.

Nils said...

I once dropped a job that was related to my financial mathematics studies after a few weeks.

I started (and finished by now) studying physics and that was the right decision ;)

Yeah - that job was about selling people fiancial crap.

Klepsacovic said...

@Caramael: I agree, it is a bit intrusive. I'm sure it's no coincidence that yesterday my greatest (almost) success was with people who were outside, so I'm not dragging them to their door and standing so close.

@Michael: I know that most of my failed sales weren't my fault, but it's still pretty discouraging. That wasn't something I could deal with every day.

@Nils: Oh boy, financial crap. What fun.

Tesh said...

My brother in law enrolled in the Primerica "associate" program, and it caused no small amount of friction in my family. I loathed the company and their system, but couldn't take that out on my brother in law, who was just trying to pay the bills.

But dang... that company combines the cesspit of sales and MLM manipulation with financial chicanery. They aren't pure evil, but they date it on weekends.

Sales jobs destroy souls.

Incidentally, I did my time in retail working in a bookstore. That was actually OK, as I was just trying to help people find what they were looking for, not trying to foist new things on them.

Unknown said...

I consider myself very lucky. I was once in the athletic training field in college but quickly learned of the de-fucking-plorable rate of degree-earned/good-job-relating-to-the-degree-you-spent-$50,000-on. I very soon afterward joined the military when it was easy to get in (around 2006).
The friends I have in sales either love it or hate it and don't make very much money. Most are in the latter.

Anonymous said...

The two days weren't wasted; you learnt something about yourself and you won't have to waste any time doing it again.

I had a telemarketing job many moons ago. I sold more units in two weeks than most people sold in two months. After two weeks my boss came to me on hands and knees for me to sign a full time contract. I told him that I would rather eat vomit, and then I left.

Klepsacovic said...

You're right, Adam, it's not really wasted, since I did learn. Still, a bit disheartening, since I'm still in that "I can do anything phase."

Anonymous said...

The way you say "learn to hate people" sort of implies you didn't already.

Just saying.


Syl said...

Good for you for dropping that job. :)

I had a similar job once during my studies, it wasn't door-to-door but telemarketing related and while it wasn't a scam it was pushy and manipulative and I hated it. the payment was great but I quit after 3 months (it was part-time) and never looked back.

My new job is nothing like that and I'm in a purely supportive role - but it's private sector now and no more state/social, and to be honest it's one qualm I still have with it. I don't know if I will come to terms with it or not but it's heavy on my mind, some days more than others (and the thing is I really like what I'm doing, I'd just like it to be in a different branch).

oh well! this isnt about me, it's about you and how you turned your back on being a phony, so more power to ya!!! I hope you find a better job soon! =)

Treat said...

Sorry it didn't work out, darlin'.

Klepsacovic said...

Benediction, I didn't always hate everyone. Just most people. That is less than everyone. Do the math.

Thanks, Syl.

Treats, saying "darlin'" doesn't help. It sounds too southern. Like the Texans. Yes, I had to work with Texans. Did you know we haven't even secured the US-Texas border? It's outrageous.

Shintar said...

Glad to hear that you didn't end up selling your soul in the end!

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