ICC bosses are stupid

| Wednesday, July 7, 2010
"The only escape is death"
- Said by Marrowgar during bone spikes
Apparently he's never heard of breaking them.

"What is this disturbance?! You dare trespass upon this hallowed ground? This shall be your final resting place."
- Lady Deathwhisper at start
"All part of the masters plan! Your end is... inevitable!"
- At the end
She tries so hard to kill us, too soon?

"Riflemen, shoot faster!"
"Mortar team, reload!"
- Muradin Bronzebeard
A classic example of excessive micromanagement.

"Your soul will find no redemption here!"
- Deathbringer Saurfang
Clearly never heard of paladins.

"Fun time!"
- Festergut
That fight is boring.

"Sleepy Time!"
- Berserking Rotface
Clearly he is a troublesome child.

"Good news, everyone! I think I perfected a plague that will destroy all life on Azeroth!"
- Professor Putricide
Doesn't know his audience. (yes I am aware of the reference)

Such wondrous power! The Darkfallen Orb has made me INVINCIBLE!
- Prince Keleseth
The orb is what makes us able to kill him. Yes, it does the exact opposite of what he says.

"But... we were getting along... so well..."
- Blood Queen Lanathel
No, no we were not.

"Heroes, lend me your aid! I... I cannot hold them off much longer! You must heal my wounds!"
- Valithria Dreamwalker
Weren't not heroes, we're greedy psychopaths. Some aren't even role-playing.

"A flaw of mortality..."
- Sindragosa after killing a player
Yes, death is a slight issue with the whole being mortal thing. Right up there with Dr Kazzak's bold discovery that "all mortals will perish."

"Is it truly righteousness that drives you? I wonder."
- Arthas
Considering we do nothing that doesn't reward us with showers of gold and epics, obviously no.


Video Game Philosopher said...

I do wonder if the writers of these encounters are being intentionally sarcastic, or if everyone at blizzard is a bunch of idiots.

But yes...most encounters are funny in this way.

Anonymous said...

There are so many hilarious dying lines in this expansion. The writers had a good time with it.

Klepsacovic said...

@VGP: Maybe it's both: they put the worst writer on boss quotes while the rest of them chuckle in the background.

@Anonymous: I know I'd have a blast writing lines like "all mortals will perish." It's profoundly meaningless!

Anonymous said...

All Lich King's monologues through entire expansion (including quests in Howling Fjord and Zul'Drak) hint that he has a plan to use the most formidable heroes sent against him in his service. In this light, dying quote of LDW makes perfect sence.
"Master's plan" is to have "natural selection" of heroes: only the best can defeat all the minions and come to face the LK. And their death is of course inevitable: every successful LK kill is achieved after he've killed the entire raid with Wrath of Shadowmourne.
BQL says that we were very well getting along after infecting over 50% of the raid with vampirism. If she'd live just a little more, all raid members (theoretically) would become Darkfallen.

Chastity said...

The only thing more stupid than Muradin shouting "riflemen, shoot faster!" is Hellscream shouting "axe throwers, hurl faster."

Like for reals? Does that really work in WoW-world?

I'd be seriously happy if all raid bosses talked like that.

"Unstable experiments! Snare a random raid member!"

"Left Arm! Grab somebody!"

"Steelbreaker! Do A Fusion Punch!"

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