This is from the perspective of a son of one of us adventurers.
"If I spent my life chasing imaginary enemies, it was only so they would never become real."
He wasn't actually paying attention. He never was. Attention meant seeing too much reality.
"Father."
"Yes, son?"
"You have no in between."
"What?" Confusion. Was it mental decline? Hardly. He was always confused. He faked certainty always. He was always sure of himself and his crazy ideas. Maybe this is decline after all, he forgot how to lie.
"You're either eloquent or a raving lunatic." I wasn't lying. I'd not learned that. I sometimes thought to ask him to teach me, but he'd probably have said he couldn't.
"Show some respect." He always talks about respect.
"If not for me you'd all be dead a million different ways!"
Let's count them. He'll first say the gnome tunnels. They were going to dig from Gnomeregan to Ragefire Chasm. They were going to join up with the Legion agents down there and enslave the troggs to fight for them.
"Name ONE."
"The gnomes and their hellish alliance with the troggs!"
I told you so.
"Father, that didn't happen."
"Of course it didn't! We stopped it. Yes we did. You should be proud to have taken part. We wiped out the Legion and half the troggs. Beat the gnomes before they even got there! It was glorious."
"Father, the gnomes were never going there." Why am I arguing with him? He never admits defeat.
"Of course not! We beat them before they started. They're cunning, they have their telemetroniductors to talk to each other. They stayed at home after they saw us beat their advance."
Told you so. Again.
"You don't have any proof. You just make things up."
"No proof!? Did you forget the armies of troggs? The leadership of the Legion? Did you not see a dozen tunnels which we could not explore, but which a gnome could walk through with ease? I bet we beat them only hours before. Just in time."
"Fine." Why did I try to argue? The evidence always fits, he just uses a bigger hammer to smash it into place.
"Good night, father." Respect doesn't go both ways. He'll be silent.
WoW Classic: Stitches leaves me in stitches
2 hours ago
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