A bad combination:
My aunt isn't particularly good at abstract thought or accepting the assumptions given in an argument (not to agree with them, but to accept them as the basis of the current discussion). This leads her to say stupid things or misunderstand things into a non-existent disagreement. Meanwhile my brother and other aunt and uncle love to discuss things and challenge ideas. The result is something that isn't heart-shaped butterflies, but is not a screaming match and will not turn into one.
My mom hates arguing. According to the second aunt (the one who likes discussion and is her sister), when they were younger family arguments were a less cordial affair, tending to involve real political disagreement and hard feelings. With that in mind, it is understandable that my mom would be wary of arguments.
But it's been quite a long while. Surely by now it is not unreasonable to expect that she'd have figured out that she's not at her childhood home. Surely it is not unreasonable to expect someone to have some stage between no indication of a problem and screaming about arguing. Maybe ask nicely to stop 'arguing', but do so before she's borderline enraged, since the "I asked nicely" idea is complete bullshit when you're one word away from hysteria.
I might have some sympathy if there actually was an argument. If someone came to our house saying Obama is from Kenya, it would be entirely justified to get angry at them, maybe more. But this wasn't that and never is.
Merry Christmas...
My aunt isn't particularly good at abstract thought or accepting the assumptions given in an argument (not to agree with them, but to accept them as the basis of the current discussion). This leads her to say stupid things or misunderstand things into a non-existent disagreement. Meanwhile my brother and other aunt and uncle love to discuss things and challenge ideas. The result is something that isn't heart-shaped butterflies, but is not a screaming match and will not turn into one.
My mom hates arguing. According to the second aunt (the one who likes discussion and is her sister), when they were younger family arguments were a less cordial affair, tending to involve real political disagreement and hard feelings. With that in mind, it is understandable that my mom would be wary of arguments.
But it's been quite a long while. Surely by now it is not unreasonable to expect that she'd have figured out that she's not at her childhood home. Surely it is not unreasonable to expect someone to have some stage between no indication of a problem and screaming about arguing. Maybe ask nicely to stop 'arguing', but do so before she's borderline enraged, since the "I asked nicely" idea is complete bullshit when you're one word away from hysteria.
I might have some sympathy if there actually was an argument. If someone came to our house saying Obama is from Kenya, it would be entirely justified to get angry at them, maybe more. But this wasn't that and never is.
Merry Christmas...
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