You know what would be a great job? Try this: fresh air, talking to people, helping them out, getting good money by saving people money. No strings attached to anything. Perfect, right?
Sure. Of course. Assuming you don't utterly fail at sales and quickly learn to hate people.
I got that job. Trained. Learned a script. Learned what was behind the script. I understood this stuff.
But after the second dozen people who aren't interested [in saving money], who don't want to change [nothing beside saving money], and who refuse to even talk. Well fuck them. Fuck. Them. I cannot summon the will to care about our shared humanity. Just fuck them. Assholes and idiots.
Of course I can't quite blame them. Some company had come through with a similar thing earlier, but ended up burning a lot of people. So fuck them too for making everyone paranoid. Hell, I was paranoid. I wasn't willing to do any door to door until I'd determined for myself that there were no catches. There are none. But damn, try to explain that to someone who got fucked over a couple months back.
I guess I'm just not a people person. I like talking with people, socializing, fun stuff. But playing the manipulative game, even though it isn't a scam, just doesn't feel right. Before writing this I was talking with my parents and suddenly realized that I felt insincere just in normal conversation, like I couldn't just talk, I had to be driving a sale.
I wonder how many days it would have been before I started throwing rocks at houses that didn't sign up. Maybe two at most. Two more days I mean. Two rocks would just be lazy.
So long story short, I had a job for two days, only got one sale (really three, but the verification call got fucked up, so they don't count), realized I was terrible and it and hated it, so I quit.
This is doing wonders for my self-esteem and mood.
My first day I briefly tried to relate it to gaming. I thought back to pickpocketing for Insane in the Membrane, for the books that never dropped, for all the impossible materials. But then I realized, that achievement was saner than this job. When I loot something, I have a certain percent chance of that mob having it, and that is constant. But people don't work quite the same way. If one in ten people sign up, it's not as if each person is a ten percent chance. They're all unrelated, not using a quantifiable drop table. In other words, an MMO grind lets me take advantage of large counts and probabilities. People aren't so logical.
Even worse, killing a mob is killing a mob. Technique only matters in terms of efficiency. People aren't so straightforward. The slightest hesitation and they shut the door in your face. The slightest bit of paranoia and all the time is wasted.
I guess I'm stretching it a bit. Oh well. I tried.
So, anyone have any job openings they need filled?
Posted by Klepsacovic at 7:00 AM | Wednesday, May 25, 2011
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