I miss WoW. But I refuse to go back to it. The reason is that I can't play it correctly, by which I mean in whatever way is the most fun for me.
I would love to go back to explore a bit, run an instance here and there, maybe do a raid or two. But I've learned my lesson. I can't do that. I've tried. It doesn't work. I can't not get sucked into the rep grinds and loot grinds and the horrible spot between caring about my gems and not caring enough to fix them. I know it wouldn't be long before I'd be pissed off at some utterly insignificant shit like someone playing marginally less than ideally and oh my god how can he be so stupid!? I hate those people. Not the bad player. He's irritating, but it is just a game after all. No, it's the elitist raging douchebags that piss me off the most. The preachy "you're doing it wrong" ones.
But really, I would be doing it wrong. I'd want to raid, despite knowing that I no longer have the patience required. Maybe LK spoiled me, maybe raiding just doesn't do it for me anymore, maybe I stopped believing so much in the importance of repetitive failure for virtual rewards which serve only to trivialize the next round of repetitive failure. I'd want to PvP, despite knowing that I despise the gear grind, and it makes me swear an unusually high amount, an amount which ironically, makes me angry.
I know I'd sooner or later find myself sitting, staring at a Wildhammer dwarf, wondering if I really want to do the daily, but knowing for certain that I definitely do not want to do Theramore dailies, because for no apparent reason I don't like Deepholme much. So I stare, as if to ask him, "Why don't you just get the gnomes to nuke the Wildhammer base? It's right there? And for the love of god, if you didn't drink so much you'd be sober enough to get your own damn kegs!" Asking a dwarf to drink less. The utter futility is symbolic.
There is some ideal amount of time to play. I'm not good at that. It's stupid. But even stupider is failing to recognize and compensate for that. This is something I've learned, to recognize the selectively stupid aspects of myself or others and compensate. Too many people stop at the "you're stupid" part, failing to move ahead to the part where they figure out a fix or a second-best. For example, I am terrible at doing work at this computer. It has all the required software and hardware, but my mind considers it a gaming device. If I want to do work, I acknowledge this problem and go to a different computer. As stupid as stupid is, it would be more stupid to not practically deal with stupid.
As of yet I have found no good fix for my inability to write good closing paragraphs. My attempts at writing forever have not worked, resulting instead in long, tangent-strewn posts, which ultimately reach some sort of ill-conceived end.
So let's pretend this is a bad movie and at this point The Gods of Blogging intervene to save me.
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