Cross Realm LFD is for Nazi Neutrons

| Wednesday, February 2, 2011
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Neutrons are greedy bastards. They pretend they're so essential for buffering the repulsing effects of too many protons in an atom, but we all know that's just a lot of made-up BS. I mean, they're just protons who decided to hoard not just an electron, which you notice all the other protons don't mind sharing, but also a neutrino which they claim is maseless but we all know that's just them pretending "Oh this neutrino? This old thing? I mean, it barely weighs a thing! You wouldn't want one of these."

My point is this: Cross realm dungeon finder needs some tweaking because in the current implementation it is the favored tool of Neutrons who are directly responsible for nuclear explosions, which are highly sought after by terrorists. Yes, there is a link between cross-realm LFD and terrorism, you just read it.

Cross realm dungeons are a very good thing. If you've ever logged in at times when no one is on, such as as I'm writing this (2:30 CST), you might have noticed that things are quiet. Too quiet. That's the sound caused by 90% of the player population being at work, school, or unemployed and already too drunk to remember what a computer is. The remaining 10% are 90% bots and 10% sick people, 'sick' people, and unemployed who can no longer afford alcohol.

This makes it very hard to form a group based on only the population of a single realm. To make it worse, a low population or highly imbalanced realm can be like this all the time. So clearly forming groups across servers will help get things rolling. But there is a problem: these groups are formed primarily from sick people, lazy people, and unemployed people who desperately wish to be drunk.

Okay the real problem: It's on all the time. When it's 8PM and approximately the population of Greece is online at the same time, it is not hard to form groups from a single realm. At that time he cross-realm ability is unnecessary and serves only one function: to group up people who will never meet again and therefore have zero interest in each other or their reputation. Cue ninjas, assholes, ninja-justifiers, and more assholes.

At this point there tend to be two responses. The first is that I can still make groups the old fashioned way, at which point I call them stupid for saying something stupid and pointless. The second is someone asks why I want to delete cross realms and should we go back to needing to wait at summoning stones to form groups while typing over Chuck Norris jokes in Barrens chat? Same reaction as before.

I propose literally doubling the tank queue time. Yes, add an entire second. Use this second to delay group formation to see if players from the same realm will appear. As players come on, shuffle the order slightly to group up players of the same realm. On average queues would be unchanged, pushed up sometimes, pushed down sometimes, but never by very far. But on average groups would have more players from the same realm.

Technology cannot fix social problems, but it can cause them and if we are conscious of that, we can design technology to be less disruptive or disruptive in positive ways.

10 comments:

Me said...

So would you also say oxygen is also a nazi? I have always felt that the more electronegative atoms/ions are the greedy bastards. In fact, that is usually how I would explain it to individuals I tutored. I dont care about lfd so much as I enjoyed you using the analogy.

Nikodhemus said...

It took you 6 paragraphs of utter nonsense to come to a very valid point... i WOULD rather group with people that I MIGHT see again. It would be a great chance to add to my friend list and add someone who is a good player and would like to play with again. On a rare occasion I do have a good time with a group in LFD, talking and whatnot, but I never get to see those folks ever, and have no opportunity to do so. BUT... if they made the LFD cue a minimum of 1 minute, for ANYONE to join, and set priorities for same realm folks... why, i think i would enjoy that very much!

Fulguralis said...

Love the Neutron joke. Ah nerdy nerdisms.

Also, there are days like today where the population is thrown into unexpected ratios because of SNOOOOOWpocalypse.

Yay for snow days.

And Tanks having to put on their patient panties can only be a good thing, IMO. They're already self-righteous as it is. I mean, have you met a Paladin?

joeego said...

I am a Paladin and, yes, my eyes do sparkle and I fart rainbows.

Make realm-only LFD a switchable option. If dorks can't figure out there are bad times to use that option then they'll either learn or get into fewer groups thus saving us even more trouble dealing with them.

Klepsacovic said...

@Me: Oxygen is more of a totalitarian dictator. It's a totalitarian dictator, but it's OUR totalitarian dicttator. At least until it's contributing to fires.

@Nikodhemus: Those were to build suspense. And because I get distracted while writing.
A whole minute... It's bad enough when the server is lagging and my tank has to wait multiple seconds.

@Fulguralis: I've met a few paladins. They're jerks.

@joeego: A toggle, that could be nice. I'm not sure how many people would use realm-only, but if everyone was in the system, even realm-only could eventually form.

Euthryphro said...

The problem with your idea is that people who are on the same server are not really any better behaved towards each other. There is no community/reputational aspect left in this game. Server transfers and $10 dollar name changes long ago gutted what there ever existed of that.

I've had worse behavior from people on my own realm then I've had from people on other realms.

coldbear said...

Amen on the LFD with same-server-preference. Just give us a tiny little button to push that says "I'd prefer a same-server dungeon group even if it costs me an extra minutes."

LFD = 4chan

Proof is here: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19/

Klepsacovic said...

Even with the ease of escape, at least there was some cost, whether social or financial, to being a total dick. With cross-realm no one even needs to name change.

Anonymous said...

I look at the glass as half-full not half-empty. Most of the people I meet in LFD, I am very, very comfortable with never meeting again. And LFD accomplishes this.

Anonymous said...

See, I've found that MOST of the people I group with in LFD are pretty rad. If someone is a jerk, I ask them to stop, and I'm a good enough tank that people generally want to keep running more. My biggest complaint is that if, for example, I get stuck with one jerk who won't leave group after the dungeon ends, we can't boot, and we can't requeue without them. Same-server LFD would be an excellent option to get around that.

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