Belgium, be very afraid.

If you're not reading this post, be even more afraid, because you don't know what's coming.

Here's the timeline:
Congress attempts to raise the debt cap.

Rand Paul filibusters to stand by his principles.

America collapses seconds later as angry Chinese investors foreclose our government.

With no government to pay or organize them, American troops in Europe cease spending any time at all prepared for battle and instead focus on getting drunk and harassing German barmaids.

In imitation of notable Italian womanizer Silvio Berlusconi, a womanizer rises in France to seize all power.

With nothing to stop them, the new French Pansy Party, known as Panzis, invade Algeria, war which they very slowly win due to a combination of incredibly awful tactics but incredibly awesome weapons. Seeking seeking to unify all French-speaking people, Belgium is invaded.

Britain responds by giving carefully-worded speeches which are so polite that the French interpret them as encouragement.

French forces invade Germany under a historical mandate to "neutralize Prussia", swiftly defeating the Germans whose own army and security forces are tied up dealing with thousands of heavily armed and very intoxicated former American soldiers.

Turning traitor, US Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano leads the French army through eastern Europe toward Russia, invading and swiftly crushing any resistance. Then the French army freezes to death in the winter (technically summer, based on the tilt of the Earth) and is forced to retreat.

Meanwhile for no clear reason Italy invades nearby Croatia, quickly winning with no casualties. However they soon retreat, declaring it a "waste of a Sunday afternoon".


TL;DR: Libertarians are going to cause World War III. This fits well with my theory that the Tea Party is actually a front organization for Islamic terrorists.

You may think this is crazy, that the French are pacifist wimps who cannot wage war at all. Basic historical knowledge would indicate that the French love nothing more than bombing helpless enemies. They're a ruthless, bloodthirsty people. Be afraid.