Blizzard, give us some fucking puppies

You made the pony problem which led to all this whining and insulting and hysteria. Clean up your mess. It's very simple.

Anyone who does not have a pony, mail to them a puppy which randomly shits rainbows and wrestles with the perky pug and core hound pup. If a pony is near the rainbow, it immediately takes flight (even in Dalaran or old world) and all nearby players gain the ability to fly on a pony for a few minutes.

Targets on temporary ponies would be flagged FFA. For hugs. They clearly need them.

Was that a pony?

My hunter's most recent random PUG had a new warrior tank. He said he was new, so I offered to misdirect the pulls for him. That was in case he didn't know them. But no, he seemed to know what he was doing, so off we went. In the end he tanked just fine, even noticing when the huntard managed to pull aggro and didn't feign fast enough; using his in-combat charge to great effect. Or maybe it was intervention.

He would even mark a target or two, usually the oh so annoying runecasters. I relearned that tranq shot dispells magic, having forgotten hunters had that ability since it was removed from arcane shot. Great against the shields. And convenient since the runecasters and their bubbles were marked as the kill target. Well done!

Sounds fairly competent, right?

WRONG!

He had a pony, and as we all know, only complete idiots buy the pony. I'm confused as to how such a moron, such a fool, could manage to tank the instance without problems. Maybe blanket generalizations of intelligence and competence are inaccurate when based on buying one item. Nah, that doesn't make any sense. With something like that, the world couldn't be easily split into us and them. Nope, the warrior must have been an idiot. I bet he was botting. That fits perfectly since it also shows he's lazy and cheats.

There we go, it's all worked out: only idiots buy ponies and if they appear to be good, it's because they're botting, so report them to a GM. Makes perfect sense.

I hope to continue to leech off other people in WoW

Apparently ponies fill people with joy or rage.

I pay the same $15 a month as you. Perhaps less since I started getting the longer subscription. I probably pay more though. My $15 a month gets me more.

Those who play more use more server resources. They often play too much, meaning they burn out on content faster than if they played the same amount but spread out. They down content faster, pushing the devs to produce content faster. They pay the same $15 a month as those who play less. Our content is produced with the money of other players. In effect they, we, are leeching.

This is part of the justification for "I pay the same $15 a month, I should get to see X content." But that's a different topic. Feel free to totally derail this based on one sentence.

I have used a total of two non-subscription services in WoW. They were transfers for my shaman and paladin back during BC. All you who race change and switch servers and buy pets and mounts: you're paying for my content. Especially the pony people. You pay $25 for a horsie and get in return something which costs far less than $25 to produce. That money goes somewhere: to devs who make non-pony content, my content.

Of course I could be completely wrong, and the pony money actually doesn't go to developing anything at all, and is actually doing nothing but distracting investors from investing in my content. But I prefer to live in a fantasy land where corporate takeover doesn't ruin everything.