None of you exist

| Saturday, October 17, 2009
Based on comments, some people were unhappy with my previous post. Apparently they took it to be a direct attack on someone. Sounds like some sort of irrational social though process. But if by chance you do know someone who sounds like my theoretical blogger, I am sorry that you have been exposed to someone so terrible.

Regardless, the comments I received are entirely invalid for one simple reason: no one actually read the post. Protest all you want, but the facts are against you. There were a total of 1 viewer over the past few days. There were not enough people to account for the 4 unique commenters. Direct following and posting without actually visiting the page do no account for the gap since the names do not line up.

From this can I reach only two possible conclusions.
1) You and your comments are figments of my imagination. I shall call you 'Maginary Speakers, but it doesn't matter since you are imaginary.
2) The internet has achieved consciousness and is now attempting to communicate with me by directly altering itself. Of the two possibilities, this is the more likely since Ayn Rand claims that I directly interact with reality and therefore am not imagining things.

In light of this revelation, I greet you in peace, entities of the internet. I hope we can have a mutually prosperous relationship. Do you know by any chance if Google Analytics is bugged and not displaying viewers?


PawelMaji said...

I use NoScript and I do not allow google-analytics scripts to run. could this be the reason?

LifeDeathSoul said...

hmm... you could be discounting those who are reading using RSS feeds? I do follow your blog on Google reader. That could be a reason :)

Klepsacovic said...

It's almost certainly a bug with google. I doubt that in the last three days no one directly visited and switched entirely to readers.

Hinenuitepo said...

Feel free to visit my blog and see if I don't exist. :)

You'll also see I'm not a fan of your 'hypothetical social blogger.'

I hope you get that tongue out of your cheek. It must be getting painful. :P

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